My job
Let me start this by saying I love my family more than anything. My husband is hardworking, full time job and school, an excellent father. My kids are intelligent and to me, gorgeous and for the most part well behaved. We are fortunate enough to own a house on the right side of town, with mega equity. So what am I about to complain about? Well, go grab a drink and settle in, this is going to take a while.
I never thought I would have kids before I was 30. I never thought I would be without a career. I never dreamed I would own my own home at 23. All these things are without a doubt a blessing. Yet I complain. I am now 28 with 2 kids, 2 and under, 1 house, 3 dogs, a crapload of fish, praying to keep this marriage for life and I feel like I am slowly sinking. Don't get me wrong, I truly do love and appreciate my wonderful little family but some days life is just almost too much. My theory on why I feel this way leads back to the above statements. Anyone with half a brain knows that 2 babies can totally wear you out. Add this to a feeling of almost hopelessness about my contributions to our household and I guess it is no wonder my husband asks "did you take your pill today?" Which by the way, pisses me off to no end. I do not want to be on antidepressants anymore but people very dear to me tell me that I need them.... Desperately. I do love waking up every day knowing that I am going to be the one watching Joey taking even more steps than he did the day before and teaching Ansley her colors in Spanish. I am grateful that I get this opportunity. Granted because of this choice we are dirt poor but it is most definitely worth it. Money could never replace what I have every day with my babies.
Now it is time for me to totally contradict myself and scream that I just need 5 freakin minutes to myself! No one understands me. I wish my husband, wonderful as he is, could just understand this. Staying at home is so hard. While I do get a ton of benefits that not many parents get, I also get a lot of stress that working parents do not. I crave adult conversation. It is almost to the point that I am going to start talking to the telemarketers when they call. Drag the mormons in when they knock on my door and make them talk to me. I know Mike works hard and studies hard and even helps me more than the average husband. I just can't help feeling like I am completely overwhelmed.
Just my opinion, but stay at home moms work more than just about anyone. We are also severely misunderstood. Anyone that never leaves their "job" can sympathize. You are on call 24/7 and you never really get to leave your "job" behind. I love being a parent, I just wish I knew how to find a happy medium. Balance is something I am continually searching for, one day I will figure it out. Understanding is my next big quest. It's like I am asking for the moon and stars huh?
I never thought I would have kids before I was 30. I never thought I would be without a career. I never dreamed I would own my own home at 23. All these things are without a doubt a blessing. Yet I complain. I am now 28 with 2 kids, 2 and under, 1 house, 3 dogs, a crapload of fish, praying to keep this marriage for life and I feel like I am slowly sinking. Don't get me wrong, I truly do love and appreciate my wonderful little family but some days life is just almost too much. My theory on why I feel this way leads back to the above statements. Anyone with half a brain knows that 2 babies can totally wear you out. Add this to a feeling of almost hopelessness about my contributions to our household and I guess it is no wonder my husband asks "did you take your pill today?" Which by the way, pisses me off to no end. I do not want to be on antidepressants anymore but people very dear to me tell me that I need them.... Desperately. I do love waking up every day knowing that I am going to be the one watching Joey taking even more steps than he did the day before and teaching Ansley her colors in Spanish. I am grateful that I get this opportunity. Granted because of this choice we are dirt poor but it is most definitely worth it. Money could never replace what I have every day with my babies.
Now it is time for me to totally contradict myself and scream that I just need 5 freakin minutes to myself! No one understands me. I wish my husband, wonderful as he is, could just understand this. Staying at home is so hard. While I do get a ton of benefits that not many parents get, I also get a lot of stress that working parents do not. I crave adult conversation. It is almost to the point that I am going to start talking to the telemarketers when they call. Drag the mormons in when they knock on my door and make them talk to me. I know Mike works hard and studies hard and even helps me more than the average husband. I just can't help feeling like I am completely overwhelmed.
Just my opinion, but stay at home moms work more than just about anyone. We are also severely misunderstood. Anyone that never leaves their "job" can sympathize. You are on call 24/7 and you never really get to leave your "job" behind. I love being a parent, I just wish I knew how to find a happy medium. Balance is something I am continually searching for, one day I will figure it out. Understanding is my next big quest. It's like I am asking for the moon and stars huh?
posted by Lori at 8:06 PM
5 Comments:
I was just saying the same thing at Texas Ducks.
SAHM is definitely no walk in the park. I feel guilty shipping The Duckling off to a sitter's house one morning a week, but OMG, I'd kill her if we didn't have a little time away from each other.
It's a shame we are spread out all over the country, otherwise we could have "Playgroup and Pina Coladas" on Friday mornings...I'm just saying...
Hang in there! :)
Could you have someone come in every week on a certain day for a few hours? You could take a ceramics class or yoga or something. I had three kids under 4 and was a sahm and this was a lifesaver for me. (Of course now they are all grown and gone or nearly so and I would give my left arm to have a whole day with all of them)
I know the feeling OH SO WELL. I am a full time Mom, I work p/t (30-40 hours a week to them is p/t i guess) and I help my hubby run his business. So in my "spare time" I am supposed to cook, clean, do laundry, take kids to doctors appointments, animals to the vet, clean some more, feed the animals and still have ME time? Pffttt... I suppose my ME time will come in about 6 years when they are all 18 and outta my house? Is that wrong? LOL... I keep telling my kids that for their 18th birtdays they are all getting the same things... A Bigger Suitcase!
Hang in there honey, it doesnt get easier but it does get better.
Oh hon, you are preaching to the choir here. I feel the same way!! 2 kids, 28 yrs old, house to manage, 2 dogs, a cat, ...it gets to be a lot to take care of. And I like things organized, neat and tidy, so it's a lot of work. I feel run down EVERY day!
I do not know how sahm moms can have more than 2 children. I feel like I'm at my max frustration and anxiety level most days. One more child and I would seeriosly have to be commited. I am dying to get out of the house and for some balance in my life too, but it is hard to get out.
And don't feel bad about taking a pill everyday. I did for many years. And probably will need to again as soon as I'm done nursing. Or maybe things will get better by then!
It does help to have a weekly babysitter. But usually when she comes I am so busy running around getting all my errands done sans children, I'm tired by the time I come back!
Update to my last comment! Hehe. I will get to go back to work PT in the next couple of weeks, YEAH! I finally found a qualified person that can answer phones, type and kiss the bosses ass so that I can go back to my FT SAHM job and only go into the office 30 hours a weeek instead of 60! lol
Oh and for the record.. I have 4 kids plus a live in BF to my oldest daughter, 4 cats, 2 dogs, 4 rabbits, a slew of fish, a couple frogs, a husband, work from home, play maid & chef to all of the above and havent lost my mind YET.. lol
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