Very irritable
I keep going back and forth with the blog thing. I love it, I hate it. It is good and cheap therapy while being annoying.... If that makes any sense. Maybe I have just been super hormonal.
The kids started week 2 of MDO. Joeyman still hates it. Ansley is getting clingy. Weird thing is, I truly thought this would make things better for me, I think it may be doing the opposite. The kids have been so clingy it is unreal. It is getting horrible for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies more than life itself, so that is making it even more complicated. Guilt does not even come close to describing what I feel. I feel like screaming several times a day now. The horrible part is that I catch myself thinking "I just wish these fucking kids would stop crawling and hanging off of me". It is hard for me to admit that. Never in a million years would I abuse my kids in any way. I just can't help needing a little space. By that I mean going to pee by myself, sitting on the couch or chair without something else sitting on me, dog or kid. I cannot even walk to another room in my house without carrying a kid on my hip, or both hips for that matter. I am at a total loss on how to deal with this. My house has a very open floor plan, you can see into all the rooms but one while standing in between the livingroom and dining room which is attached to the kitchen. Any suggestions?
The kids started week 2 of MDO. Joeyman still hates it. Ansley is getting clingy. Weird thing is, I truly thought this would make things better for me, I think it may be doing the opposite. The kids have been so clingy it is unreal. It is getting horrible for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my babies more than life itself, so that is making it even more complicated. Guilt does not even come close to describing what I feel. I feel like screaming several times a day now. The horrible part is that I catch myself thinking "I just wish these fucking kids would stop crawling and hanging off of me". It is hard for me to admit that. Never in a million years would I abuse my kids in any way. I just can't help needing a little space. By that I mean going to pee by myself, sitting on the couch or chair without something else sitting on me, dog or kid. I cannot even walk to another room in my house without carrying a kid on my hip, or both hips for that matter. I am at a total loss on how to deal with this. My house has a very open floor plan, you can see into all the rooms but one while standing in between the livingroom and dining room which is attached to the kitchen. Any suggestions?
posted by Lori at 1:31 AM
2 Comments:
Lori I don't know how you do it. Seeing for myself the "clingy" children I can say that you have your hands full. I don't know many moms who have to have a baby on their hip 24/7 but you do. You have WONDERFUL KIDS, but I agree you do need to at least be able to pee without them. I wish I had a good suggstion, call their doctor maybe? or supernanny?
Your doing a great job, maybe just let the cry it out. I know it sounds harsh...I just don't know what else you could do.
Sister, we all need time alone!
As to the MDO, hang in there. The Duckling HATED it at first but after a month she loved it! We're going through the same thing now with her sitter (as I think you read on my site)...we ALL need time alone and if MDO is the only way you can get it, it's worth the misery of getting them acclimated.
I'm thinking of you!
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