Saturday, October 29, 2005

Nerd convention 2005!

I am finally getting around to writing about the nerd competition. For those of you not familiar with my blog, my husband is a computer science major. He is also the treasurer for the ACM club, aka Nerd club. Now, Mike is not your typical game playin, neverleavethebasement type of nerd. When I met him he had the spikey bleached blonde hair and liked band t-shirts and smoking pot. Thankfully he ditched the pot in favor of me and I slowly depleted his band shirts and replaced them with shirts I found suitable. He was a nerd in disguise. I totally love his nerdiness. It is something of a turn on. I think maybe I just find intelligence attractive. Anyways, he recently attended an ACM competition in Melbourne, Florida. We had to check in on Friday night, and boy was I in for a surprise.

When I think of a nerd, I think of someone like my husband, intelligent, attractive, humorous, likes women.... Boy, I was wrong! There must have been at least 500 nerds there. Very, very few women. It was a total sausage fest. Boring, unattractive sausage at that. Some of these guys looked like they had not seen daylight in years! Some of them looked like their mothers still dressed them. Some of them looked like they wished their mothers had dressed them. It was just amazing to me that people like that existed. I am also guessing that the vast majority there were virgins. Not that there is anything wrong with being a virgin but I think they would prefer a computer over a woman.

Anyways, long story with no point. I was just amazed. I really thought the revenge of the nerd types were a myth. Here again, I was wrong. They are alive and well, and will probably earn double or triple the average mans salary. Hopefully my husband will.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Ding dong the bitch is gone!

It has been one hell of a month for us. So much has been happening and I don't know where to begin. Okay, first thing, she is GONE! Remember the cousin no one wanted? Well, I now know why. For someone who is supposedly slow, she sure is sneaky and conniving. Not to mention, nerve racking. It is so hard to describe just what my life has been like recently.

"Special A" came to live with us in august. We thought we were doing a good thing. I thought maybe she might be some help to me with the kids and Mike and I would be good mentors for her. WRONG, oh, how wrong I was. "A" had no money, no major possessions, no manners or morals... The list goes on. We made the trip to the social security office to see if we could apply for disability for her, well, that takes 120 days before you find out if you are approved or not. In the meantime, we are poor, have I mentioned that before? So I headed out to the good old family and childrens services office to see what assistance we could get for her or because we had her. Well, in doing so, I lost Medicaid on both my children because my husband makes a whopping $270.00 a year too much. "A" got on Medicaid at this time. Go figure right? I thought now because we were supporting another person, a disabled one at that, we would at least be able to keep the kids on Medicaid or maybe even get foodstamps. I am not too proud to utilize what I have worked so hard for. We were denied. I have no idea how. My husband works full time, goes to school 3/4 time, and we were below poverty level for a family of 5.

Here is where I might go too far. I do not consider myself racist or ignorant, but everyone is to some extent. I have learned that if I was divorced and my "boyfriend" lived with us that we would qualify for help. It would also benefit us if we were of a different race. Anyone who lives in the South knows the statistics for state assistance is outrageous for races other than Caucasian. This is very disheartening to know that the state is basically encouraging childbirth out of wedlock and making marriage seem like a bad thing. I was under the assumption that these services were to help people willing to help themselves. Apparently not so.

Wow, time to get off the soapbox, got a little politically sidetracked. Anyways, back to what I was saying, "A" was becoming a bit of a financial burden, something that we just cannot deal with right now. The girl can eat! Now mike and I are on the chubby side and I think I like food as much as sex... So that means a lot, but I think she put us to shame. In addition to the financial burden comes the mental anguish, yes, it was that bad. She would just grate on your nerves, just casually forget every fucking thing you taught her unless it was something she wanted to do. My mom got her set up on her AOL account thinking that would occupy her and keep her out of our hair. Well, bad idea. She stayed up all night, slept all day, did not do a whole lot to help me. Apparently complained to other relatives that she should not be saddled with caring for kids at her age. I just want to scream at her, ask her why the fuck is it my responsibility to take care of her when she doesn't want to help me. Everyone keeps saying "poor girl, it was the way she was raised". Hell yes it is, but until someone makes her responsible for her actions and words she is going to always rely on that excuse.

But anyways, on a lighter note, we took our first trip without the babies. Mike and nerd boy had a programming competition to attend in Melbourne Florida. Which by the way is a shit hole, but, we did find a lovely restaurant I would highly recommend. I spent Saturday with nerd boy's wife. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. They are a fun couple. It will take another whole post to accurately describe the level of nerd in attendance there. I think they saw us and were like, "GIRLS!". I will get to that later this week since I do not have a leech on my couch watching me now :)

Monday, October 10, 2005

Pretty as a princess

My Babykins went to her first princess tea party. Of course I had to make sure she looked every bit the part of a princess. I made her skirt and did her hair up prom/pageant style. I wanted to cry she looked so grown up. I hope she grows up to be as sweet as she looks here.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Bawls, balls, they all sound the same

Went to good old wal-mart tonight. Family outing, even took tourettes boy with us. I made the mistake of letting mike go run some errands with John, aka tourettes boy, before this though. The kids and I made it in and I was browsing in the crafts section, for ribbon, and my cell phone rings, it is mike. He asks me if I want to taste his balls. I was quite taken aback by this question, he then explains to me it is an energy drink. Spelled B-A-W-L-S.
Well, Mike and John, being the adolescent minded adults that they are, thought it would be funny to keep making comments about bawls. Every 5 seconds they were cracking up over their "balls" comments. I felt like I was with beavis and butthead. "Hey Lori, does Mike's bawls taste good?" Right in front of the lady that is measuring my ribbon out for me. Imagine my discomfort when the lady looks at me and raises her eyebrows as if to say "I cannot believe you are with them". But anyways, I am so wired it is unreal. I am exhausted but can't sleep so here I am writing deliriously. Mike has been attached to his girlfriend lately.... The laptop. School has been very demanding this semester. Which in turn has been hard on me. Which is probably why I have been feeling the need to get smashed a whole lot more often than necessary. Lack of attention and stress here in the house has been making me mean. So mean that my mother felt she had to get April out in a hurry so I would not hurt her. I know that sounds cruel but all I can say is live with her for a while and I promise you that you will want to kill her. The freedom has been nice, I have been walking around in my underwear more than I have my clothes. I feel like shouting and singing about it but I would probably look pretty damn silly. We took the kids to the "jumping party zone" today in hopes of wearing their little butts out, did not work as planned but we had a wonderful time. I love it when we are able to do things as a family. Okay, now I am just getting sentimental, must be time for me to get to bed....

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Butt issues

My kid has had some problems lately. You know, bowel movements or lack thereof. Joeyman has been keeping me up at night screaming for what seems like an eternity. It finally dawned on me that he hasn't been on his regular poop schedule. After several sleepless nights this finally dawns on me. You would think I would have figured it out. So after an hour long screaming session I decided to violate my baby with a fleet babylax enema. I felt like a horrible mother. I always hated the rectal temperature thing so you can imagine me trying to shove a tube up my kid's tushy. He was crying, I wanted to cry. But, I have to say, that is some powerful shit. No pun intended :) Within like three minutes he had started pooping and the poor guy had a diaper full of rocks. As soon as he pooped he went to sleep. Even before I had a chance to change him. It is amazing what a good poop does for him. Like father, like son I guess.