Thursday, November 17, 2005


My daughter seems to think this is a good name for me. As I calmly tell her to let go of her little brother's head, she tells me in her most authoritative voice, "no you beyotch!". I promptly get off my fat behind to reprimand her. I tell her that good little girls do not call their mommy and daddy names. To which she replies, "no beyotch". What do I do????

Illness abounds

Just when it starts getting cold here my kids get sick and stay sick. Babykins has pneumonia, has been on antibiotics for the last 3 months. She had to go for chest xrays and blood work yesterday. And I wanted to kill the office staff of her pediatrician. I adore the pediatrician. The office staff sucks monkey butt.

The hospital said her results would be available immediately. Now I know they are not always prompt. But I called the doctor 4 freaking times. The nurse put me on hold for 15 fucking minutes the last time and I hung up to call back and they already had their answering service on. So, what do I do? I send my wonderful husband who is not as vicious as I when it comes to issues like this, to the office to demand to speak to the doctor.

I would have made my displeasure apparent but he did not, he did however get the info about our child which IS more important than my fussing about the office staff but my kids' care is at stake here! This is not the first time I have had issues with his staff. Anyways, I just want my kids to feel better.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Belated halloween photos

Dontcha love the pink hair? The things I do to make my kids happy.

My little pumpkins

Yes, my title is gay. I know that. But every parent has to brag.

These are from my annual pumpkin patch outings. I drag my kids here every year. Can't you tell how thrilled they are?

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Am I just dumb?

Yesterday I spent a little while reading blogs while rocking the kids, and I realized something. I am dumb. Everyone has such a witty and eloquent writing style. Every one but me that is. I long for education now. It has been almost 3 years since I have held a job outside the home or attended school of any kind. Adult interaction is something I need desperately. My daughter is benefiting from this of course, how many other 2 year olds do you know that can have a conversation with several 3 & 4 syllable words and actually use them in the right context? My kids are treated like little adults. With toys. I just cannot bring myself to talk down to them or use dumbed down words. Here lately though I am lacking in the vocabulary department. Seems to me that everyone is using "bigger" words than I am, of course I do understand and comprehend, I just feel very uneducated. Like I am lacking something everyone else has. Maybe I am thinking about all of this because I want to go back to school. I have ran out of time on the hardship deferment on my student loans so, I either go back to school or pay them 150.00 a month. What would you do?

Monday, November 07, 2005

No sense at all

I have been in a weird mood lately. Been taking the pills so that is not it. Kids are still sick. Poor babies. I have been tired and Mike has had homework galore. The house is kinda closing in on me. There is so much I want and need to do. Money is tight. My dog is sick. I gained like 20 pounds in the past 2 months. It is amazing what stress will do to you. Where to start?

I told you guys my stress really quadrupled with the addition of special A. I guess I started eating then. Like eating all the damn time. Now I am a big girl and not ashamed of that, but I was so happy that I was under my pre-baby weight. I was around 190. Now to some of you that is totally unfathomable (is that a word?) but I have big bones. Around 160 I look my best. Very curvy and healthy looking. I need to post pics so you guys can see and tell me if I am delusional. When I went with Mike to the doctor I stepped on the scales and I freaked out and almost started crying when it said 213. I noticed my pants were getting tight and my shirts were just not looking right with the baby gut poking out, I just had no idea I gained that much! I need much support and advice so I do not become bulimic, anorexia would never work because I love food too much.

I started this post earlier today and a lot has happened in just a few short hours. Just after I get up this morning I get a call from my mom, asking me to come over that she and my dad have to talk to me. This is never a good thing. I went through this before. They inform me they are separating. Yay, one more thing to add to the pile. Amazingly enough, I am still smiling even though every word I have typed is bitching. Maybe that is why, I am getting out all the frustrations on the keyboard.

Friday night I attended a surprise party. Those are always fun. Got some new toys. What is pretty bad though is that the hostess took me aside and asked me what toys I thought were worth it since I have just about everything. I have this collection because of the parties I have held, everyone wants to come to a surprise party. So I am having a surprise party in Feb, just before Valentines day. It really is a lot of fun to get the girls together and laugh.

This makes my 4th freakin attempt to finish this post. Fuck it.