Scared

Babykins goes in at 6 in the morning for surgery. This will be the 2nd time in her short little life that she has been under anesthesia. She has dental caries. And I feel like a horrible mother. The dentist did make me feel a little better about the situation, he said that most of her dental problems were formed in utero. I had an awful pregnancy and was on so much medication and my blood pressure was out of sight, and apparently this causes bad teeth in infants. The bottle does not help however.

I 95% of the time only put water or crystal light in the bottle, but I know it is time for her to get rid of it. It just breaks my heart because she has no other security thing like a blanket or bear. The bottle is it. I have been told the best way to get her off the bottle is to get Joey man off as well. I feel bad about this because he is only 16 months old and like his big sister, his bottle is his security.

These horrendous thoughts keep creeping into my head. I know she is going to be fine but I am so worried. They were explaining all the procedures to me today and I am just so scared for her. I don't want her to hurt. Not that any normal parent does want their child to hurt. It's just that she is only 3! She should not be having to deal with this so soon.

New additions to the family!

Everyone needs pets. My little family just needs lots of them. What was supposed to be a little family outing to petsmart, to get Brownie (guinea pig) a bigger cage, turned into a "we need more animals!" adventure. Of course since brownie outgrew her cage, we could not get rid of the too-small cage, we just got 2 long haired hamsters to fill it. So, now we have: Trixie, Junior, Brownie, Pepper and Ginger. We wanted to name the hamsters ginger and soy, but Ansley insisted on Pepper for the blond hamster and Ginger for the dark brown one. Go figure.

I have always been an animal lover. My dad used to refer to our house as a petting zoo. At one time I think I had 2 snakes, 1 iguana, 2 hedgehogs, 1 squirrel and an aquarium with fish and fire newts. That is not counting my dogs at the time. I hope my kids grow up to love animals as much as I do. I just love taking care of things.... that cannot take care of themselves. Sounds like a total contradiction to everything I bitch about I know, but what can I say? I do love little creatures.

Not in the mood

I haven't been in the mood to blog lately. Things have been so crazy and I have been so mean I figure why write about it. Things are looking up, I just cannot seem to get happy about it. All the little projects I have been putting off are getting done, slowly but surely. The house is staying cleaner. We are disciplining the little hellions more. It seems all I can think about is me, me, me!

Speaking of not in the mood, are you ever really intimate again after 2 kids? I told Mike last night that there is no way to be a parent and be married or have a significant other. At least I haven't found a way. There is never any time alone anymore. The time we do get is 2-4 hours here and there, and usually it is for doctor's appointments and other shit that has to get done. Not time spent in a cozy little restaurant without worry, to come home and snuggle, maybe watch a movie. We forgot what that was like. Granted, my mom did babysit the other night, but here again, we wondered during dinner what time mom was going to call, was everything okay.... You know the routine. I know my mom is perfectly capable of handling my children, they adore her. It just seems no one ever wants them for more than a short period of time.

For someone not in the mood, I am pretty crazy to be having a "surprise" party. That is coming up in a few weeks and I am trying to make sure my house looks decent. No one, and I mean no one ever comes over to my house so it is a big deal to have a huge group of women, more than likely frustrated ones at that, over here to scrutinize my humble little home. Hopefully though the attention will not be on my house but on the lady standing up in the front of my living room with a tool belt on containing various sexual instruments. We will see.

Leave me alone

I feel like shouting this a hundred times a day. I feel like screaming get the fuck off of me. But I don't. Right now I am typing one handed because I have to keep one arm around Ansley. Just to keep her quiet. What the hell is wrong with me and my children? I cannot understand what I am doing to make the kids so fucking clingy. It is 2 am and I am sitting here watching spongebob. I was in bed. With Mike and Joey and Ansley. Almost asleep with Ansley laying on me, sounds comfortable right? Ansley starts fussing so I have to get up. Because Mike has to get up in a few hours. Well, news flash, Joey will probably wake up when Mike wakes up. So where does this leave me? With about 3-5 hours sleep at most. Gee, and I wonder why I am a bitch....